Birdwatching is the art of looking at birds; birding is the art of naming them. And subspecies identification is the nerdy Sarlacc pit of bird identification. In this talk, I'll talk about how I have over-engineered ways of getting bird subspecies distribution data from the community science site eBird, by using Node.js, React.js, D3.js, and occasionally other things like jq, grep, and plain old vim. I'll talk about how this is hard, as a hobbyist. I'll also briefly go into what subspecies are, the book I'm working on how to better know a subspecies, and what fun subspecies to look for if you're in the Seattle area and you like birds. And yes, there will be seagulls.